Band of hope and regret

Prepare thyself for extreme versatility.  The BoHaR can be fashioned from any lateral hair device.  Also it speaks.  Say you’re waiting for the #81, a bus that might never come because this is Edmonton, and you’re standing in the shelter because it’s minus 50, and someone’s quietly weeping on the bench behind you.  No, you don’t really want to find out what’s wrong and anyway there’s nothing hopeful to say because, again, it’s February in Edmonton.  What to do?  Why, you pluck something off your head and give it to them.  They unroll thing, smile poignantly and decide, no, they will not throw themselves under the bus if it ever bloody well comes.

Band of Hope and Regret

One headband

A narrow elastic

Paper and pen

1) From an old fleece jacket or vest or whatever, cut two rectangles: 2 inches x the circumference of your head.

2) Blanket-stitch rectangles together around edges.

3) Cut 6-inch strip of elastic.

4) Position elastic down centre of band, same distance from either end. Tack elastic down every inch or so. Don’t get all tortured about precision.

5) Cut or rip paper into little rectangles. Write hopeful and encouraging things, such as You’re doing really well, and I’m so sorry. Roll messages up and insert under elastic.

6) Sew ends of band together.Elastic

7) Wear band on head and hand out messages at bus stops et cetera. No need for eye contact or talking.

Making a Marcel

Christian BaleSo, let’s say you did something bad. Something you need too apologize for. Like, for instance, you forgot your stepmom’s birthday. Or you got really mad at your director of photography or something.

Here’s something that can help you out. A forgiving sock creature.

Marcel, the forgiving sock creature

I used baby socks for these and they’re tres cute. Bugger socks work fine, but the bigger your creature, the lower its cuteness factor. (I’m not saying it’s right. It’s just the way it is.)

Marcel1) Cut about 1/3 up the sock.

2) Pull toe into hat.

3) Tack down hat with a few stitches.

4) Add stuffing to head, and stretch a bit of sock face into mouth.

5) Add buttons for eyes or make paper eyes. Whatever you use, sew ’em on. Glue will never last.

6) Add more stuffing for legs and sew them up.

A bowl perfect for Elton John

Elton John 1Alright. New week, new craft. And all this talk of SuperBowls has the soup-and-cereal containers on my mind.

Have you got old books? Sure, you do. This world is filled with old books. We’re reading the same novels in school that our parents and grandparents are. What can we do with all these old books?

Simple answer: eat out of them.

Old BooksCircle of Life Bowl

1) Take one outdated book (guy goes on quest, guy becomes manly man, guy offs himself after failing manly-manness, etc.)

2) Rip into tiny pieces. (This is the best part.)

3) Add enough water to cover the paper, and soak overnight.

4) Add two cups of shredded newsprint, more water. Boil, then simmer for two hours. Add water as need to keep things sludgey. Turn off heat and leave to cool.

5) One cup at a time, throw sludge in blender and pulse until pulpy. Throw pulp into big bowl. (I know. You need a bowl to make a bowl? Just do it.)

6) Add 3/4 cup of white glue to pulp and mix with hands.

7) Press mixture into wire strainer, making rim a bit thicker. Roll an orange inside if you want it nice and even. Leave to dry overnight and next day if necessary.

8) Carefully press outside of strainer to release bowl. (That should be an ‘8,’ not a happy face. I don’t get it.)

9) If you want it to last a while, coat with varnish.

Treasure Island

‘Isn’t it funny how pirates spent their lives on the seas searching for treasure, when the real treasure was the experiences they had together?’

treasureGo ahead, people. Scoff. Treasure Hunt sounds tres lame, I’m not saying it doesn’t, but who cares about terminology? And technically — technically — maybe it’s not a craft. But Treasure Hunts mean

1) several clues in public places

2) random prizes

3) fun!

4) secret cleverness

My father was a TH genius.

For your own TH:

1) Put Clue #1 on Facebook or hand it to people if everyone’s starting together. Let’s say place #1 is the Ghandi statue outside the town library. Clue #1 could say: Rhymes with candy (sort of).Gandhi

2) At the Ghandi statue, you’ll hide clue #2. And so on.

3) If you know how many people will be playing, you can leave little prizes. Leonard loved to put candy in Dante’s nose. Most of the time the prizes will still be there. Good places in Edmonton are pamphlet racks at city hall, plants in MacLab theatre and the sculpture in front of the Winspear.

Maybe it would be a good idea to wait until the spring thaw, but snow can be a good hiding spot, as well. Happy Hunting!

Rock your socks in the Year of the Ox

Okay, so Chinese New Year has passed. Not that you’d notice around here. And it’s the Year of the Ox, which is supposed to be all about hard work and so on.

But will all this hard work lead to good fortune? Here’s an idea for a craft that might help.

chakra-kundalini-custom1According to my research, being spiritually successful, as in rich, is all about having open chakras.  These are invisible energy centres, and they can get blocked or they can leak.  When that happens with the head chakras, as in the top two (so highly spiritual), what you want is grounding.  And what’s more groundedthan rocks and socks? [I know, I blending my Asian cultures here. It’s like Asian fusion.]


1) Take two socks and overlap toes.

2) Take one round, flat, spiritual-looking rock. Paint a fish or spiral, etc, on it. Sew a spiral through overlapped socks but leave top open so rock can fit inside.

3) Insert rock. Lie down and put Sockra on forehead so rock is between eyebrows opening your sixth chakra. Have important vision.


First. Post. Ever.


So I’m kind of new to the blog thing, but here goes … This blog will be a record, both of my thoughts (as irrelevant as they may be), and my craft ideas. And I’ve got a LOT of those, my friends. It’s like a horn of plenty (those Thanksgiving dealies) up there in my skull. Only instead of, y’know, fruit and grains, it’s like patterns for sock puppets or 101 uses for papier mache.

But yeah, that’s what I’ll be putting up here. As for now, I am still a prisoner of Edmonton. Where hockey jersey designers are our most acclaimed cultural workers. Bored much? Well, yes, I am. Funny you should ask.

No matter. Devious plans are in place to send me to Toronto. Nefarious ones even. (Oh, maybe that deserved a spoiler alert.)

Anyway. Got a science test tomorrow. Back with more crafts soon.